Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
