Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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