No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
