My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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