i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
