she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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