You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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