sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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