Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
