So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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