hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
