pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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