and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
false alarm, still single
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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