I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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