thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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