you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The Olympian is in my bed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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