I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize