Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
