ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
