Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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