i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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