great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize