There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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