when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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