I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize