Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
