You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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