I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
