I cannot find my penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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