Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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