Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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