Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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