i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
