Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
