i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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