Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
