How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
