Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
