in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize