I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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