if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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