haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i need some magic done to my vagina
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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