How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
