dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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