it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
