Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
