We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
