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Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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