its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
