I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
