I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
