No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
