this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
