Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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