I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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