Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
